Memory Lane May 6, 2009

I sat next to a father with a sweet little 4 month old at ballet tonight. She was SO precious! Listening to her cooing, and making raspberries made me smile. I was almost overcome with the urge to hold her and play with her. It took a lot of internal strength not to ask. I was afraid I was creeping him out by the way I was watching them.

 

I am the type of mom who really loves the baby stage. I don’t mind crying, diapers, getting up in the night to feed or change them. I have to say that babyhood is my favorite stage. If I could have another child AND keep it a baby forever, I would do it in a second. Nothing compares to those first smiles, cooing, and watching their eyes light up at someone they recognize. I can’t resist the smell of their little heads, the softness of their skin. The way they always nuzzle into the area between your head and shoulder. I love the way they curl their little behinds up in the air. The way they do a whole body stretch. I could go on and on and on.

 

The baby ship has sailed for us, but I have been having a little yearning the past few months. I’m hoping that maybe someone close to us will have a baby soon, so I can get my fix. Or I’ve even been thinking about being a nanny again for a baby, our babysitting part-time.  Who knows what the future holds.

 

So, if you are the parent of a baby, and see someone like me staring and smiling, don’t be scared, we’re just going down memory lane.

Seven?!?!? May 1, 2009

Tomorrow, May 2, Ilsa will turn 7 years old.  I can’t seem to get my head around it.  This little girl (that I never thought I would have) is already 7.  Wow!

After we had Jackson, we knew we wanted at least another child.  We figured an 18 month-2 year spacing would be perfect. So we tried and tried, finally I got pregnant.  We were SO excited, and couldn’t wait to welcome another child into our family.  Then at 7 weeks I miscarried.  We were saddened, but knew things like this happened, and when we got the go ahead from the doctor to start trying again, we did. 

Once-a-Month Cooking April 20, 2009

Over the years I have read quite a few books on the subject of having one marathon cooking day, freezing those meals, and then having a month’s worth of dinners in the freezer.

The concept really intrigued me. I like cooking, but as all busy mothers know, dinner time can get a bit crazy. I also figured that if dinner was already made, I would have more time to bake…my real passionJ. 

It took a lot of research to finally find two different cookbooks with recipes in them that had meals like I really made:  fresh ingredients, with little packaged foods or mixes.   I looked through the books, and chose 5 or 6 different recipes that looked interesting, and decided I would double each of them, and get a total of 12 meals. I was excited to get going.

“Cooking day” came, and I needed to hit the stores to get the ingredients for everything. I went to Aldi first to get the staples, then on to Sam’s Club for the meat, finally ending up at Pick n Save for everything else. I ended up spending just over $200. Not bad I thought, for twelve main dishes.  When I got home, I began to put some things away, and got ready to start the prep work.  

Stay Home Mom April 8, 2009

As I sit here now, content after a full day of accomplishments, I am once again hit with gratitude. I am SO lucky to be doing the job I felt I was called to do. For as long as I can remember, back to the ripe old age of 4 or 5, I have wanted to do just what my mom did. It sounds so simple-yet it is full of real meaning to me. My mom gave me the best gift she ever could have given…her time. She sacrificed for me; she was always there for me. She came on field trips, volunteered at school, drove me around to friends’ houses, and played countless games of Hi-Ho! Cherry-O. I can never remember a time when she was not there when I needed or wanted her until the day she died. I loved coming home from school and having her there.

I want to be that to my kids. I want to be there for them. I will never know when I will be needed, or how much time I may have with them. I want to be there when they have a bad day at school, did badly on a test, got in a fight with a friend, or just want to talk. I want to have warm cookies waiting after school. I want to have a clean house and nice dinner planned. I love that stuff! It’s fun teaching them how to cook and bake.

Being a stay home mom is who I am. I struggle with the fact that I might not get to do this much longer. With 3 children in private schools, our budget is tight. I struggle with the thought of not being there for them when they need me. I struggle with giving up my dream. I also struggle with feeling selfish, not wanting to get a job. I struggle with making my husband feel bad that we even have to consider my getting a job. I love serving my family, keeping the house up, cooking, baking, ironing, etc. I have been praying about this on a daily basis. I don’t know what the future holds, and that scares me. I want to do what’s best for my family without losing me in the process. I pray for an accepting heart and positive attitude, and the willingness to change.

The kitchen is clean, laundry is almost finished, and cookies are cooling. I look out the window at the bright sunny back yard, and praise God for another great day of just being a mom!

A Quiet House March 26, 2009

I love waking up to a quiet house. It hardly ever happens though with 3 children. This morning as I lay in bed, I remembered that there was something missing…my kids! Usually I would lie in bed as long as I could stand it, and then come downstairs to my children and get bombarded with “mommy” requests. So, I am able to get myself a cup of tea and some breakfast, and sit here contemplating my day.

I have a wonderful mother in law! After losing my own mom 5 years ago, I appreciate her so much. She has taught me many things, and is such a part of our lives. She decided almost a year ago, that every Thursday she would take whatever children were home that day. I have to be honest; this is one of the best gifts I have ever received. So, every week, I get a whole day to myself. The kids really look forward to going to grandma’s house because she is really the type of grandma that actually does things with them – baking, cooking, playing, puzzles, and (everyone’s favorite) bowling. Since it is spring break this week, and the weather has been gloomy, I know they needed a change of scenery (me too).

So, as I sit here trying to decide what to do today-clean the house OR wander around Bayshore Mall, I am really enjoying the quiet!

Where to start? March 25, 2009

I’m going to start blogging.  Allen suggested it to me today at lunch, and it’s funny because I had actually thought of maybe starting it a week or so ago.  Writing has always been a little intimidating to me (I am a terrible speller among other things), but the idea of getting out what is running through my head is liberating to me.  I am the type of person who often feels “un-heard”, and by actually typing out my words, I feel like they have power whether someone actually hears them or not. Wow!  Now all I have to do is figure out where to start - my mind has a million ideas running around.  I look forward to continuing my journey as I become yet another blogger.